Someone says or does something and, in response, we feel hurt. Sometimes that hurt mascarades as anger, righteousness, or resentment but it’s hurt just the same.
But instead of owning our feelings, we push them down and out. Away from us at the one who perpetrated this hurt onto us.
Because it’s so damn painful. Those hurt feelings are confusing. We don’t even want to feel this way so owning them is kind of like giving in.
And, after all, it’s the other person’s fault. They should be the ones suffering, not us.
So, we do the thing that we think will stop this hurt. We lash out. We yell or give them the cold shoulder. Or, in the digital world, we write a passive agressive post online about them hoping that they will feel an ounce of the pain we feel. They deserve it, after all.
This all comes from our own unmet needs. Most likely from childhood.
Ya, it’s the old inner child gambit.
It’s okay if you don’t believe it. There’s a way you can test it out. The next time you feel that hurt, anger, or resentment, ask yourself:
How do you feel..right now?
Inevitably, you will notice you feel young. Real young. Because that is where all of our hurt comes from. Every single time we’re hurt or angry, it’s a hurt or anger that was never resolved from childhood.
Again…it’s okay if you don’t believe me. Test it out for yourself. And then what?
That pain is an opportunity to meet the need that was never met. It’s the opportunity to listen to yourself in a way that you’ve never been listened to before. It’s your chance to be forgiven…completely. It’s your time to be there for the little precious one in you that was abondoned, overlooked, unaccepted, shamed, belittled, and abused.
It’s your time to be loved.