Whisperings

Something has been whispering in my mind for the last few years. I’ve yet to hear the words clearly. They are an idea. A hint of a profound insight which leads to freedom. They are about mothering, forgiveness, and the love that binds but also liberates. They’re like a dream; the more I try to grasp them and turn them into something solid that I can market or teach, the more they dance away. They’re on to my motivations.

Like an archaeological dig when one must painstakingly chip and methodically brush away sand and rock around the outsides of a hidden item, ever so slowly allowing the precious treasure to emerge, I must do so with this budding understanding. In the excavation, even as an item makes itself known, the finder is patient, continuously brushing with the lightness of a feather, waiting for the artifact’s whole story to reveal itself of its own accord. I’ve learned that a new realization of self and life must be treated thus.

When I think I know the whole truth after a mere glimpse or when I preach to others as if I KNOW the entirety of the wisdom being offered up, it’s as if I’m an archaeologist ripping an ancient treasure from the ground without regard for preservation.

There are realizations about ourselves we all experience. They’re the kind that when we see them for the first time, our eyes spread wide with awe and our minds alight with surprise, having us exclaim that we “haven’t looked at it like that before”! I’m learning that those are the ones to treat with reverence.

They need to be honoured, digested, and integrated. They’re precious and need to be sanctified, not disregarded or shared too soon. Even though I’m so eager to share. That’s my first instinct when I learn something new; I believe that people need to hear this! But this infant idea needs to be brought to my breast and suckled. I need to embrace and gift it fully to my own heart, allowing it to change the essence of my being. Instead of thrusting it out to the world looking for it to be verified before I can affirm its veracity, I can ask: What does this feel like…inside my body? And is it true for ME? Because that’s all that matters.What is true for me? And how will I let it change me?

So I will keep these whisperings safe for now. And you keep yours. And maybe we’ll meet one day to share our treasure troves with each other, venerating them with the esteem they deserve.