Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday.
My husband and son are away hunting and I sat here wondering if they would remember to contact me and wish me happy birthday. I felt a moment of “testing their love” for me. It’s really very funny. My family loves me so dearly. I mean isn’t it truly hilarious what the mind does?! Here I have a family who’s committed and loves each other completely (or so it seems) and I still need proof?! Like if they don’t tell me happy birthday…that’s it. They don’t love and appreciate me.  Convicted. AND – I’m literally laughing out loud here – I’d be hurt that they didn’t stop all they were doing together (bonding as father and son) to phone ME. lolol. I’m so grateful for realizing that folly – just as I am grateful for the moment of blindness. What a wondrous feeling to wake up from it.
My lovely daughter got me pretty flowers and wrote me the MOST lovely birthday card. I’m so happy for her that she feels love and expresses it in her way. I love that my husband and son need me to help them clean up after hunting when they get home. It’s lovely to feel needed. They express their love for me every day when they tease me, smile at me, and make certain they hug and kiss me goodnight.
I’m grateful to my mom and dad for coming together and deciding to have a child. They were such good parents. They took care of me and loved me. They gave me many experiences and happy memories. Oh…and the birthdays! My heart is so filled with love and a little sadness with missing them as I reflect on the birthdays. My mom made me a hopscotch cake for my 7th birthday and I thought it was the best cake in the whole wide world. On my last birthday with my mom, I brought a cake into the CCU because I knew she’d be sad to miss a celebration with me. We broke the rules and lit a candle. She sang a quiet happy birthday to me and watched me blow out the candle. It was the most lovely sounding happy birthday song in the whole wide world.
I’m feeling the love from everywhere – outside of me and within. I’m grateful for my life and for every soul that’s in it. ❤
Love and blessings to you all. ❤

SCAN0097

Yes…that’s me with the big toothless grin. 😀

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