Listen With No Agenda

I LOVE the blog posts by Hands Free Mama.  Always so insightful and spot on to reality. Not over the top floofy.  She’s down to earth, heart wrenching, and loving.   Her recent post referring to a conversation with her daughter entitled, “The Conversation I Almost Missed and the Future it Could’ve Cost” is the epitome of that description.

Check out this quote:
“In the moment I could have crushed her spirit, I supported her.
In the moment I could have made her doubt herself, I reminded her she was human.
In the moment I could have taught her a harsh lesson, I taught her a loving lesson … a trust lesson … a grace lesson.”

Doesn’t that just tear you apart?!

I’ve learned that one of the hardest – if not THE hardest – job as a parent is to listen to my child speak and be present with them without any agenda whatsoever. No agenda of teaching them right from wrong. No agenda of what other people will think of their actions. No agenda on their appearance. No agenda about their futures.
I’ve taken my “job” as parent so seriously that it’s been difficult to lay those down even once in awhile just so that I can hear what my child thinks/feels/desires.
Oh it’s easy when we’re laying on the grass looking at the clouds. Not so easy when they’re saying hurtful things about a person, or their opinions on love and life, or how something isn’t fair.
Can I listen to them in THIS moment without the agenda to fix or teach them??

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