More Important Than Dishes

A quote from the post, Thankful for this mess, from InspriredRD hit home:
“If I have a mess in my house, it means I have everything I’ve ever wanted. And that is something to be thankful for.”

It’s so easy to get annoyed at my family over messes. For me, it’s when I return home to find the kitchen in a disaster (it’s funny how I use the word ‘disaster’ to describe dishes and crumbs on a counter). I’m instantly annoyed when I see evidence of meals made & eaten with seemingly no effort to clean up afterward. My feeling of happiness to see my children or husband slips away unnoticed and I become naggy and bitchy.
Instead of hugs I give glares and sighs.
Instead of loving greetings I give words of reprimand.
And I can justify it. Oh yes. THEY’RE the inconsiderate ones. Is it so difficult to put your dishes in the dishwasher and wipe a counter?! REALLY?!
Sigh. And now I think…
Is it so difficult to walk by the mess and lovingly greet my family? Really?
It’s just a mess. It’s not killing anyone. It’ll get cleaned up – by me or someone. But whether or not it gets cleaned up, I have the choice to have a loving connected relationship with my family or a disconnected, harsh, passive (or not so passive) aggressive one.
I’m feeling a “ya but” coming on for me.
Ya but…I need to TEACH them them about responsibility and respect.
Yes, yes. That may be true.
I need to teach them (learn from them really) about kindness and softness. Forgiveness. Patience. For ourselves, primarily, and then how that sweet softness transcends to those around us.
Much more important than dishes.


  1. I caught myself feeling disgruntled as I started washing dishes last night. We had served a young couple with a home-cooked meal, and the night was fantastic, and here I was grumbling about cleaning the dishes??? Yikes. Here’s to more softness…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dbridge2014 says:

      Yes. I notice that I can miss the good times when I lament over doing something as simple as dishes. It’s as if, in that moment, doing the dishes becomes one of the worst, most torturous activities on the planet. lol Finding the space for gratitude in the act of doing the dishes or cleaning up after our children in the messy bathroom can be akin to a spiritual experience. Thank you for your post and the reminder to just, as a Byron Katie quote says: “Do the dishes”.


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