Staying in my business is not only a full time job…it seems like my ONLY job. And one which, often, I need to be reminded.
Who’s business am I in? ANYtime I think you should do, think, or be any different I have stepped over and entered the world of your biz-nessss.
Oooh. Sidebar: You have my permission to give me a gentle reminder of, “Who’s business are you in?” any time you suspect I might be leaving my own sphere. ‘Cause it’s painful to step out of my world and attempt to enter yours. It’s painful, I think, because it’s actually impossible to do.
I mean that’s the kicker isn’t it?
We THINK we have control or even influence over others but we-do-NOT. This includes our children (although, admittedly, this is a grey area…or is it?). People only allow the ideas in that they choose to allow. I had that revelation one night while contemplating a discussion I’d had with my, then 12 yr old, daughter. It was late, I was writing in my journal, and reflecting on the wisdom that she possessed. I decided to relinquish control on her only to have the mind boggling realization that I didn’t have it anyway!
And..when I’m sitting in a room looking at you , worrying about what you think of me which, in turn, causes me to change my behaviour to entice your approval, I am in your business. And I am in pain…because who you approve of is your business…completely. Just as who I approve of, is my business.
That may sound crass or uncaring. It might be like I’m saying, if you don’t like me…I don’t care ’cause it ain’t my business. But staying in my business – and not obsessing over whether or not you like me – is the most generous gift I can possibly bestow. Staying home with me means that I can step fully into my own potential.
Gone are the fake niceties to impress you – gone is the need to impress you.
Gone is the approval seeking and the sucking of your energy.
Gone are the innuendos that you might not be meeting MY approval.
Gone are the uncomfortable silences because to just BE with you fills me with joy.
Gone is my neediness of you and that you are required to do anything but just be your own beautiful self.
Just imagine that. To sit with someone and have a completely accepting heart.
Imagine that. To sit with ME and have a completely accepting heart.
Now THAT is love’s divine…right there^^^.
“To think that we know what’s best for another person is to be out of our business. The result is worry, anxiety, and fear. When we mentally step out of our business, we think that we know more than he, she, or God. The only real question is, can we know what’s right for ourselves?” That is our only business. And, as we eventually come to see, not even that”. – Byron Katie